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.badly. He deserved better than this. He deserved better than me.“How many times did you fuck him? Just once?”I froze.“Oh god,” he cried. “How many times?”“Just five.”“Five times?! Five?!”I felt worse with each admission.“Was it just him you cheated on me with?”I froze again.“I can’t do this,” he moaned as he bawled into his hands. “How many others?”“Two others,” I admitted defeatedly. “Why? I loved you.”He left my place that day and I never saw him again. Not even in passing. It broke my heart to see him hurt so much but the truth was I didn’t love him. I never had and should have told him sooner. Mark was about to feel my wrath.***My self-destruction had started. I drank every night while working. I tried my best not to go home. Most nights I stayed at Rick’s. He had come back down to West Palm for the Fall and Winter months. Unfortunately, his oldest daughter had moved to Fort Lauderdale and she visited him in West Palm from time to time. When she was around, I. She no longer felt like a woman. Even if no other male had ever seen her as a woman, until now she had at least known she was a woman, now that was not the case. The fact that she would never again menstruate, was, for her, suddenly a calamity. Previously her menses had not been the irritant that many women found them, but had instead been a source of quiet pride that no matter what else, she was a women, and a fertile one at that.Once out of hospital she was not permitted to go back to work as she was on powerful drugs to kill off the last of the tumour cells. Those had weakened her immune system, and she was too weak to go back to her own flat, so Chris invited her to live with him.Their mother put her gently to bed in Chris' spare room, and then left her to rest. For four weeks she cried a lot, and rarely got out of bed, but she did physically recover, and went back to work, paler and more wan than anyone had ever seen her. Her already quiet demeanour became even more withdrawn,.
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